An English hip-hop dentist discovers the secret to clean teeth: spitting rhymes, twice daily.

 

Lyrics below:

 

They call me DJ

Cos I’m a Dentalhi Jeanist

I’m MC Lean

Cos my mouth is the cleanest

Yo, I mean this: Brace yourself, I scrape plaque

I’ll pop a needle in ya face until smack, I drop a track

Numb gums!

I’m not done, stick out your tongue

I rinse and then I spit sick rhymes just for fun

Number 1!

Sick gums!

‘Cos I brush twice daily

Nah, I mean they ill

‘Cos I brush twice daily!

Nah, you got a problem with your gums mate

What?

Your gums ache cos you do not regulate your Colgate

Well I if I’m running late? I might hesitate.

I might aggravate my biteplate with chocolate 

It makes me salivate. When I masticate. 

Which may discolorate

Very inappropriate!

So when ya nosh?

You don’t need a machine

The dream team’s part floss, part Listerine

Swish ma wash

(Mouthwash!) 

So you can drop tracks clean

(Radio-friendly!) 

Gosh, watch your oral hygiene

Hey, I’m a lyrical Zeus, and I just wanna seduce

The laydeez, and I do it with my lyrical juice

Yeah well your canine’s loose, and you ain’t got an excuse

For all your dental misuse, so here’s some choral abuse…

 

Being a dentist leaves an imprint in my heart

And the dent is just the first, it’s the start

An apprentice takes the skills to learn the art

it takes a gent’s kiss to get a girl to play the part

From my perspective, well: “Je peut tourner a droit”

Irrespective, there’s decay? I’m like a dart

I’m the blondest archaeologist in the park

Hey orthodontist: drop a track and own the chart

 

I must confess that I’ve done tests, I’m impressed

I’m interested in your phat oral conquest

Your oral distress had me gravely concerned

And I was faithless until now, but now the tables have turned

What’s your secret?

Man, I can’t tell you that!

Why not?

‘Cos I don’t know: all I know is rap

When I’m spitting, spit is hitting the inside of my enamel

To enable all the syllables, to detoxify my jowel

(Like a flannel!)

And I channel all my diction to deliver

Hip-hop hypotheses for the panel to consider, yo

I got the secret to a disinfecting flow

Flipping floss is null and void, pump up the stereo!

My saliva is the driver of my hygiene regime

I’m Flourider, and it’s my rap that keeps me clean

Are you suggesting hip-hop helps attack unhealthy placque?

Just drop remedial rhymes to beat bacteria back…

 

To be a dentist you in part rely on your chart

You get insistent that your heart is a la carte

You start dismissing the philosophies of Descartes

You never notice that your patient’s kinda smart

You get reflective, it’s as simple as un, deux, trois

Hip-hop’s effective, it’s a magical medical art

If plaque’s detected, you require it to depart

No orthodontist: just drop a track and own the chart