A very silly song about beards, in the style of Mumford & Sons.

 

Lyrics below:

 

I’m my father’s son

I am the grain he once threw down

Just like Isaac in the book of psalms

One wee dram leaves him damned

and gasping in my mother’s arms

The Devil’s arms

The oak tree falls

But the sapling’s roots are lain

Son assumes the father’s mantle

Mother, look – I am a man!

 

Cast your eye upon my rustic beard

Long I’ve nurtured chinny crop

No battle lost

By man with beard

He bearded man

He strong and proud

To be a farmer is to have a beard

Father, put aside your tools

 

My fragile face was fertile and the seeds were sown thereon

40 moons of cloud and rain anon

Did yield one hairy man

From baby boy amidst the bales

My father’s bales

One single drip

Of malt upon my whisker

But these drops weren’t made of poison

My mother’s milk is gold

 

Cast your eye upon my rustic beard

Long I’ve nurtured chinny crop

No battle lost by man with beard

He bearded man

He strong and proud

To be a farmer is to have a beard

Father, put aside your tools

 

Don’t tell my mother

But I am not a farmer

I only have beard

 

(instrumental break)

 

Jesus: Had a beard

Moses: Had a big old beard

Lincoln: Had a beard

A billy goat: He has a long white beard

Rastas: Have a beard

Rory McGrath: Has an “almost beard”

Scary Spice: Has a beard

And Brian Blessed has a great big beard!

Castro, Santa Claus, Jim Morrison of The Doors

Gandalf, Sauroman, Other Wizards, Dumbledore

And orthodox religious people all have beards